Betrayal

We stand alone waryaraxan. We have been betrayed, by those who once loved us the most. We have been betrayed by those who once depended on us the most. At our time of weakness, they abandoned us. They killed us and use our blood to save those who would kill more of us. They ran off to far countries and married men who were not us.

Enough with the dramatic intro... I'm talking about the 20 somethings and younger MEN who have been betrayed. who betrayed us? Our woman betrayed us, and still do. Our leaders betrayed us and still do. Our role models and elders have betrayed us, and still do......

What am i talking about? i'll start with the older generation. Usually, one generation passes on and a new one starts to take over. The newer generation inherits the ingenuity and progress the older generation has left behind. Then we, the younger gen build on that. You know what those old bastards left for us? they left us nothing but destruction and self hate. A shit nation that cant even feed its people. They left us to start at the bottom while we are pissed on by every fucking nation that has the need to relieve itself ( Ethiopians took a nice long piss on us). They left us with no schools or work, No history or unity, No even hope. They threw us a bag of khat and told us to take it easy. Those fucking pricks. if you scroll up, in my first paragraph, i mention that they drained our blood and gave it to themselves so they may kill more of us. Its a true story. in 1988, government Somali soldiers raided a Somali high school. they took 50 students and hook them up to needles. The soldiers then bleed the 50 students dry and gave the blood to injured soldiers in the battle field so that they may kill more of us. Wallahi you fucking bastards ruined your future. You did this your kids huh? The children of the nation. You did this to us? May you burn in hell.

Now the woman.... at a time that we need you the most, to stand by us while our wounds heal (oh and they will heal, things wont be like this forever). At a time like this, you are day dreaming about Steve, the lead hero in your most recently read romance novel. Don't you realize that you kick us in the teeth while we are down, instead of helping us up so that we may stand? You hate us, but you are you because of us. We are your fathers and brothers.... and as you run away from us, you run away from yourselves. So as you try to live out scenes from the TV show "sex in the city " when you run away to New York. Or as you finally get hoyo to accept that you will be vacationing in the Caribbean for 3 months, Or maybe marry your long time boy friend James.... Remember that us young men see this, and it brings on a rush of throat burning, eye tearing anger mixed with discust and pain. We feel this for about 10 minutes, then comes an empty self loathing helplessness, because we know, that we have been betrayed...

I ordered a taxi one frantic afternoon. No surprise, but a pleasant chance, the caby was a Somali. I slid into the cab instantly realaxing and looking forward to a good conversation and stress free ride. You see i usually keep a close eye on which roots cabies take.They love to cheat a few dollars here and there from an unsuspecting customer. Not to sound discriminatory, but by experience Somali cabies have never tried that on me.

I let him know i too am a Somali with the universal "ii waran sxb". He grinned, picking up instantly on my weak grammar. "So ah... war you bharn here" he starts off. Defensive but all too use to the ridicule i said "no, but i grew up here". He nodded, spat out the window and thought for another conversation started. "So ah... you go to skool?" he asks. I nod, and we start on the chit chat. Taken in by the quality of the sunny Tuesday afternoon, i stare out the window. Noticing the gradual loss of interest on my half the cabie brings out the good stuff. " I heard of a young girl, about your age who recently was killed by her Nigerian boy friend" he says. Drawn in, i crack the window open and allow a fresh summer breeze to swirl into the car. uh-hu... i urge him on. "yes, she was beautiful girl, oh very beautiful. she run away from her home, the parents could not control her... she went with a Nigerian man" he shook his head in disapproval. "He (the Nigerian) cut her up into pieces and throw her away like garbage. why? because she wanted to leave him". In contemplation i asked him who he thought was at fault? expecting that he would blame the usual suspects, the parents... or perhaps western values. "You" he says. "Me!" with a confused laugh i pause for an explanation. "you see..., our woman here going with any man they can find. what is wrong with Somali youth is they are all lost. all are girls cant find a good man. they go with Jamaicans and Pakistanis why?! because your generation is lost." he then ended with a line that hit home.... "us Somalis we are survivalist, we will survive".

Destination arrived, i paid what i owed, wished him fair well. A little offended i went on with my day. On my lunch break i replayed the conversation in my head ( i eat alone). He was right, we are to blame. The male Somali youth. Still not yet men, but no longer children, we fall short on all of our responsibilities. In truth, when Somali woman out number Somali men by three to one in Canada what do we expect them to do? and even then, the Somali manchild is a far cry from a stable future. Caught up in foolish hoop dreams and rap fantasies. Emulating the worst cultures we could imitate. With no self worth or self respect. Why would these woman consider a Somali partner. Oh yea... it hit me. Now that i woke up, now that i realized this desperate situation we are in as a community, I looked around. I felt alone, how many others felt the way i did. It dawned on me, We are the last of a dying breed.